Jeremy Clarkson, the outspoken television presenter and farmer, has publicly revealed his meticulously planned arrangements for his own death while launching a scathing critique of upcoming UK tax reforms affecting agricultural landowners. The 65-year-old star of Clarkson's Farm and former Top Gear host shared these personal and political thoughts in his recent column for The Times.
Clarkson's Unconventional Post-Mortem Instructions
Never one to shy away from controversy or humor, Clarkson detailed specific bequests he intends to make upon his passing. He plans to leave something intentionally irritating to his Grand Tour co-host James May, suggesting a cow as a potential gift. For fellow presenter Richard Hammond, Clarkson has earmarked "all my trousers" as an inheritance.
His son, Finlo Clarkson, would receive his father's gold watch under one unusual condition: he must promise to keep it "up his bottom for five years." Clarkson also ruled out both organ donation and cremation, humorously explaining that if he's wrong about God, he'd feel "pretty silly" arriving in heaven in an urn or without his eyeballs.
Funeral Specifications and Burial Location
For his funeral service, Clarkson insists on the complete 23-minute version of Genesis's 1972 progressive rock epic "Supper's Ready" being played in its entirety. He has selected an intentionally inconvenient burial location: The Yukon territory in western Canada. Clarkson's reasoning for this remote choice is characteristically blunt: "for no other reason than it's seriously inconvenient."
Tax Reform Complicates Clarkson's Plans
These carefully laid plans face disruption from the UK government's overhaul of Agricultural Property Relief (APR), scheduled to take effect from April 5. The new regulations will require landowners to pay inheritance tax when passing farms to heirs, a change that directly impacts Clarkson as the proprietor of Clarkson's Farm.
Clarkson revealed his strategy to circumvent this tax burden: "hang on until the Labourites have gone." He elaborated on this approach by describing a hypothetical medical scenario where he becomes incapacitated. If his representatives follow his wishes and "pull the plug" while Labour remains in power, his children would face "a whopping tax bill." However, if they wait until Prime Minister Keir Starmer and Chancellor Rachel Reeves have left office, the tax liability would be avoided.
Political Animosity and Pub Bans
Clarkson's criticism extends beyond policy to personal animosity toward specific Labour politicians. He has banned all but one Labour MP from his pub, The Farmer's Dog, with Prime Minister Keir Starmer notably excluded. "He's banned. He's the first person on the board in the hall to be banned," Clarkson stated in a previous interview, adding that Starmer "hasn't done much to endear himself to me yet."
This prohibition list includes other individuals Clarkson finds irritating, such as customers with food intolerances, whom he described as "just so annoying" despite acknowledging that banning them would be "commercial suicide."
Broader Implications for UK Farmers
The tax reform Clarkson opposes represents a significant shift in how agricultural property is treated for inheritance purposes in the United Kingdom. The changes eliminate previous exemptions that allowed farm owners to pass properties to heirs without incurring inheritance tax liabilities.
This policy alteration has sparked considerable debate within the farming community and among landowners who view it as an additional financial burden during generational transitions. Clarkson's very public opposition highlights concerns that the reform may disproportionately affect family-run agricultural operations already facing economic pressures.
As Clarkson contemplates adding a formal clause to his will demanding that life support be maintained until Labour exits government, his situation illustrates the complex intersection of personal estate planning, agricultural policy, and political ideology in contemporary Britain.
