Insights from a Travel Writer's 100 Five-Star Hotel Stays
As a full-time travel writer, I have been fortunate to experience a vast array of accommodations, from cozy homestays to numerous hostels and well over 100 five-star hotels. Memorable stays include an eco-lodge in Jardín, Colombia; a celebrity-frequented medical spa in Austria; a beachside sanctuary in Costa Rica; and a boutique hotel in Sri Lanka that stands as an architectural marvel. While the thrill of life on the road never fades, it inevitably hones a critical eye, making it easy to identify where even the most praised hotels fall short. Some shortcomings are minor, while others starkly contradict the property's claims. Based on my extensive experience, here are the common mistakes I see five-star hotels make repeatedly.
Daily Internet Login Hassles
Clunky Wi-Fi passwords and convoluted security steps are irritating, but the true test of patience is a hotel that requires a daily login to access the internet. A single sign-in at the start of a stay is reasonable, but having to reconnect across multiple devices every day is a nuisance, especially for guests who need to work during their visit.
Inadequate Water Provision
A hallmark of five-star service is arriving to a room stocked with ample drinking water for the stay. Most luxury hotels excel at this, replenishing supplies during turn-down service and based on guest needs. However, I have been surprised to find many high-end brands offering only a couple of complimentary water bottles per day. Worse yet, some still serve water in plastic bottles, which is inexcusable in today's environmentally conscious world.
Confusing Light Switches
Why do hotel rooms have so many light switches? The real challenge arises at bedtime when trying to turn off a stubborn light, only to find none of the switches control it. This leads to a frantic search around the room, pressing every button in sight, while the glow persists. The best hotels simplify this with easy-to-reach controls and avoid overwhelming guests with too many options.
Uncontrollable Air Conditioning
The worst scenario involves outdated air conditioning units that rattle through the night or systems that cannot be adjusted to a comfortable temperature. For instance, I recently stayed in a new hotel in Colombo where the AC was excessively cold, even at the highest setting, making the room feel like an icebox. Turning it off caused condensation and oppressive heat, leaving no middle ground and resulting in an uncomfortable stay.
Overly Tight Bedsheets
Returning to a freshly made bed after a day of sightseeing should be a pleasure, but in many high-end hotels, the beds are made too tightly. While this looks pristine, it often requires a struggle to free the sheets and quilts, which are frequently tucked tightly under the mattress, making them nearly impossible to pull out.
Lengthy Check-In Processes
After a long journey, the last thing guests want is to sit in reception, drink an overly sweet welcome beverage, fill out lengthy forms, or endure a hotel introduction. Check-ins should be fast and streamlined, allowing guests to freshen up, rest, or start their activities immediately.
Poor Coffee and Nespresso Machines
I fail to see the appeal of Nespresso machines. Not only are they environmentally harmful due to single-use plastic pods, but the coffee they produce often tastes subpar. Some of my favorite five-star hotels offer a glass jar of freshly ground coffee and a small French press, which is simple, effective, eco-conscious, and yields superior-tasting brews.
QR-Code Menus
The over-digitalization of hotels is a significant issue. Guests often seek to disconnect from technology, not become prisoners to it. It is particularly frustrating when arriving at breakfast or a pool bar and having to pull out a phone to scan a QR code for the menu. This is distracting, especially when traveling with companions, and in my view, entirely unnecessary.
Five-Star Hotels That Excel
According to my experiences, these five-star hotels consistently deliver exceptional quality:
- Siri Sala, Bangkok, Thailand: A flawlessly run, intimate boutique property with daily cultural excursions included in the price.
- Kalkudah Beach House, Sri Lanka: A dreamy beachside escape on the lesser-seen east coast of Sri Lanka.
- Aguas Claras, Costa Rica: A jungle hideaway where sloths can be spotted from the pool, perfect for unwinding.
- Four Seasons Resort Maldives at Landaa Giraavaru, The Maldives: A wildly beautiful property with expansive suites and top-notch service.
- Beaverbrook Townhouse, London, UK: Exquisite interiors and exceptional service that stand out in the luxury market.
