Discovering the Unexpected Brilliance of Milton Keynes
If you cannot enjoy yourself in Milton Keynes, the issue might just be with your perspective rather than the city itself. Welcome to B-List Britain, an exclusive Metro Travel series where award-winning author Ben Aitken, known for his book Shitty Breaks, delves into the unsung urban centres that quietly shine with their own distinctive character. The mission is straightforward: to uncover the positive aspects, reveal concealed treasures, and prove that any location, much like any individual, can become fascinating when approached with an open mind and the correct attitude. This week, the spotlight falls on a 'new town' once infamously labelled as Satan's layby.
An Urban Anomaly with Parliamentary Origins
Milton Keynes is undeniably peculiar, and that is precisely why it captivates. While every town has its quirks, MK's foundations are uniquely shaped by an Act of Parliament and an urban theorist named Melvin. Conceived in the late 1960s to alleviate overcrowding in London, the masterplan featured a grid system of roads and a restrictive three-storey height limit. All design principles were meticulously documented in The Plan for Milton Keynes, an unexpected bestseller in 1970 that surprisingly dethroned a three-year-old Richard Osman from the number one spot. Despite being dubbed 'Satan's layby' by comedian Bill Bailey, the city recently earned a place on The Times annual list of the eleven most happening UK postcodes, prompting a visit to uncover its true essence.
First Impressions and Independent Spirit
Upon exiting the station, the immediate impression is one of glassy, boxy, and shiny modernity that feels nostalgically retro, reminiscent of 1980s synthpop. A short stroll leads to Bogota, a commendable independent café serving an excellent long black coffee. The owner, inspired by his time in Colombia, aims to infuse Milton Keynes with character and indie spirit, also operating Canal St Coffee where cakes are crafted by a Bake Off star named Tracy, renowned for their exceptional quality. Walking north along Midsummer Boulevard, the primary thoroughfare, evokes a sharp sensation of being elsewhere, reinforcing MK's status as an urban anomaly. The layout, aesthetic, and underlying intent combine to create an oddness that borders on exotic and is undeniably thought-provoking.
Quirks and Technological Innovations
Milton Keynes stimulates contemplation, with numerous trains of thought emerging during a visit. A particularly intriguing discovery is the local JD Wetherspoon pub, which uniquely lacks a name, standing as the only such establishment in the country without one. This tragicomic oversight highlights the city's distinctive character. Stepping outside, one might encounter delivery robots, a hallmark of MK's status as a hotspot for experimental urban technologies. These electric robots, with a maximum speed of 3.7 mph, possess personalities: Asher speaks like a university student, Sunshine remains perpetually upbeat, and Harry adopts the voice and manner of a posh English butler. Reports indicate that while residents generally respect their well-being, Harry occasionally faces kicks.
Adventure and Historical Depth
The city offers an array of optional diversions, almost reading like an apology for its unconventional reputation. Activities include waterskiing, snowboarding, rock climbing, and indoor skydiving at XSCAPE. Under the guidance of instructor Nora, participants learn to maintain straight legs, raised chins, and arms above their heads, evoking memories of motivational advice. Despite initial reluctance, the experience proves surprisingly calming and peaceful. Another significant port of call is Bletchley Park, the historic centre of Second World War codebreaking. Initially housing only a manor house, it expanded into an intelligence factory employing thousands, with nearly 75% of staff being women, including centenarian Betty Webb who sought to contribute more than baking sausage rolls to the war effort.
Culinary and Cultural Highlights
Cycling back to the centre leads to Home Ground, where the best jacket potato of one's life can be enjoyed, as highlighted by blogs covering MK's burgeoning food scene. The art gallery hosts an exhibition of photographs by Saul Leiter, who dedicated his life to finding everyday beauty, accompanied by insightful sentiments such as, 'It is not where it is or what it is that matters but how you see it.' Adjacent to the gallery stands a substantial theatre, offering affordable tickets to performances like that of comedian Tom Allen, who concluded his show with the heartfelt declaration, 'I love you MK, no matter what they say.'
Ben Aitken, author of Shitty Breaks: A Celebration of Unsung Cities, continues to champion overlooked destinations, with next week's journey taking readers to Preston. Milton Keynes, with its unique blend of urban design, technological innovation, historical significance, and vibrant culture, proves that even the most misunderstood cities hold hidden charms waiting to be discovered.
