What should be a joyful, single-night celebration of a friend's impending marriage has, for many in the UK, morphed into a financially draining and logistically gruelling multi-day saga. The pressure to create an epic send-off, inspired by Hollywood portrayals, is leaving guests poorer, exhausted, and often underwhelmed.
The Soaring Cost of a Last Night of Freedom
A stark 2023 survey by insurance giant Aviva quantified the burden, revealing that the average person in the UK spends £779 to attend a stag or hen do. For events held overseas, that figure skyrockets to an eye-watering £1,208. This financial hit is compounded by the expectation that friends will sacrifice precious annual leave for extended weekends in destinations like Vegas or Spanish resorts, treating attendance as an obligatory test of friendship.
The cultural shift, fuelled by films like The Hangover and Bridesmaids, has normalised a template of overindulgence. Stories abound of injuries from ill-advised stunts, weddings jeopardised by strip-club misadventures, and groomsmen facing near-bankruptcy. The core purpose—a fun, memorable send-off with close friends—has been lost in a blur of expensive logistics and hangover management.
A Five-Point Blueprint for a Better Celebration
So, how can we salvage the stag and hen do? Drawing on experience as a best man, hen do planner, and wedding officiant, a practical five-step formula can restore enjoyment and sanity.
First, limit it to one day and night. Multi-day benders inevitably see overconsumption on night one, rendering any next-day activities a nausea-filled punishment. Keeping it to a single session respects both your friends' wallets and their annual leave allowances.
Second, abandon rigid gender divisions. Excluding a best friend of 25 years simply because they're a different gender to the groom is, frankly, absurd. A mixed gathering is no more awkward than including future in-laws in fancy dress or shot-drinking contests.
Focus on Fun, Not Financial Pain
Third, incorporate a non-alcoholic icebreaker activity. This is inclusive for non-drinkers and provides essential common ground for groups mixing childhood friends, work colleagues, and family. An activity like axe-throwing, a spa session, or a murder mystery game eases everyone in before an evening out.
Fourth, embrace cheeky, traditional fun. The occasion should feel distinct from a standard night out. This doesn't mandate explicit entertainment, but a light-hearted, risqué element—be it a suggestive cake or a show like Magic Mike Live—sets the right tone.
Fifth, and most crucially, prioritise real friends. The nearly-wed must first choose a date that works for their inner circle. Only then should wider acquaintances be considered. Polling a 20-person group chat often results in a date that suits distant school friends over true confidantes, undermining the entire event.
In essence, the perfect stag or hen do shouldn't be an endurance test followed by months of chasing distant acquaintances for bank transfers. It should be a well-curated, single-night celebration with the people who matter most. By following this blueprint, you guarantee your friend a genuinely great send-off into married life—and ensure you remain a friend long after the wedding speeches are over.
