For years, I believed my husband Mathew and I had been responsible adults who had secured our children's future. When we were both 31, we sat down in our garden one Saturday afternoon to create our wills, using a budget online will company. We had recently purchased our house and felt it was finally time to draft these crucial documents.
The Hidden Flaw in Our Estate Planning
With assistance from a gentleman at the online will service, we allocated our assets in less than an hour – what my husband fondly calls sorting through 'life debris'. Three weeks later, when our wills arrived by post, we filed them away with confidence. However, we had committed a critical oversight: we never had them properly witnessed.
I spent nearly a decade unaware this rendered our wills completely invalid. While I always recognised the importance of having a will, it never reached the top of my priority list. More pressing matters consumed our attention: getting married, my flourishing career in children's television, and soon after, raising our young family.
A Wake-Up Call That Changed Everything
The envelopes containing our unwitnessed final wishes became buried beneath expired passports and toddler artwork, remaining both unsigned and outdated. The revelation came unexpectedly in 2024 during a work consultation with a professional will-writer. His casual remark – 'It's crazy parents don't have a will. I'd never leave my kid's guardianship up to the courts' – sent me racing home to examine our documents.
Though our wills included provisions for appointing guardians should we have children (they were drafted before our children were born), I discovered with horror that the final pages lacked proper witnessing signatures. For a will to be legally valid in England and Wales, it must be witnessed by two additional people present simultaneously – a formality we had never organised.
From Anxiety to Professional Transformation
My anxiety immediately escalated as I realised the potential consequences: if something happened to both my husband and me, our children could end up separated within the care system. As I researched how to properly complete our wills, something remarkable occurred – I became fascinated by will law.
I developed a passion for the legal intricacies, discovering that modern will regulations stem from 1837 legislation. I grew intrigued by asset distribution rules and how personalised these documents could become. More importantly, I recognised how common our situation was – countless people have incomplete, improperly executed documents languishing in drawers, particularly emotionally exhausted individuals overwhelmed by administrative tasks.
Addressing Modern Family Complexities
Many struggle to know where to begin, especially when their families don't conform to traditional nuclear models. Under intestacy laws, children from previous relationships, cohabiting partners, and friends considered family are automatically excluded if someone dies without a valid will.
Seven years after that initial garden meeting, when I was just six weeks postpartum with our second child, I made a life-changing decision: I would retrain as a professional will-writer. My mission became helping others create wills that reflect modern relationship realities while avoiding the mistakes I had made.
Building Expertise and a New Business
Within months, I completed examinations with The College of Will Writing, obtained full membership with the Society of Will Writers, and launched my company. Only then did I properly re-draft and sign my own will, as our circumstances had changed so dramatically that keeping the original made no sense.
This time, with proper understanding of the process, I created a comprehensive document that addressed our revised needs, including formal guardianship arrangements for our children. The relief I felt when properly witnessing this document was profoundly tangible.
Common Misunderstandings About Will Validity
Through my professional work, I've encountered numerous misconceptions about what constitutes a valid will. Crucially, only physically signed paper copies are legally recognised – e-signatures, scans, and PDFs do not qualify under English law.
Several other critical considerations often surprise people:
- Marriage automatically revokes previous wills unless specifically drafted otherwise by a professional
- Divorce makes will redrafting particularly urgent – if you die during divorce proceedings, your estranged spouse could still inherit everything
- Children don't automatically go to next of kin if both parents die; they enter temporary court custody until guardians are formally appointed
Practical Advice for Effective Estate Planning
My professional experience has taught me that the most effective approach begins not with paperwork, but with people. I advise clients to initiate conversations about what matters most: who they want raising their children, who feels safest, and who the children know best. When framed around love and protection, the technical details naturally follow.
While it might feel awkward to discuss potentially sensitive topics – such as not wanting certain family members involved in childcare or financial decisions – these conversations often reveal surprising alignment between partners.
Overlooked Elements in Will Preparation
Beyond major assets like property, several often-overlooked areas require consideration:
- Digital Legacy: Who manages social media accounts? Who knows phone passwords? Should profiles be memorialised or deleted?
- Everyday Belongings: Specific instructions for vehicles, clothing, jewellery, and sentimental items like family recipe books prevent disputes
Wills are legal documents, not emotional guesses. Without explicit instructions, assets won't automatically 'go to the kids' as many assume.
A New Perspective on End-of-Life Planning
As for my own will, I discarded the old unsigned version. My new, properly executed document is now securely stored. This experience transformed my perspective completely: will preparation no longer feels like death planning, but rather like thoughtful life planning that protects what matters most.
The journey from discovering our invalid will to becoming a will-writing professional has taught me that proper estate planning isn't about morbidity – it's about creating certainty, protecting loved ones, and ensuring your wishes are honoured exactly as intended.
