The Normalization of Digital Surveillance in Everyday Life
Invasive behaviors that would have shocked society a decade ago now barely register as unusual. As corporations and governments tunnel deeper into our digital lives—hoarding information about where we shop, who we know, and what we believe—we have grown increasingly comfortable demanding similar access in our personal relationships. This phenomenon, which technology journalist Tatum Hunter calls "trickle-down surveillance," represents a fundamental shift in how we interact with each other in the digital age.
From Corporate Data Collection to Personal Monitoring
While multiple apps log our location throughout the day, we demand that friends share their real-time movements through Apple's Find My feature. As OpenAI uses our chat logs to train its models, we peek into the text messages of our partners. And while Palantir analyzes social media data to help immigration authorities identify targets, we record strangers in public without their consent. These parallel behaviors demonstrate how corporate surveillance practices have normalized similar actions in our personal lives.
The statistics reveal a troubling trend: A 2023 Pew Research report found that 73% of American adults feel they have little to no control over what companies do with their data. When asked about government data collection, that number jumped to 79%. This sense of powerlessness appears to be translating into greater tolerance for surveillance in personal relationships as well.
Surveillance in Romantic Partnerships and Family Life
Perhaps the clearest examples of eroding privacy norms come from romantic relationships, where tracking and monitoring have become widely accepted substitutes for direct communication. A 2021 study published in Children and Youth Services Review found that almost 60% of young adults surveyed had experienced "digital monitoring or control" while dating. Researchers defined this as using social media and technology to keep track of, intrude on the privacy of, and control the activities of a dating partner.
Common practices now include:
- Scanning a partner's social media profiles for small signs of disloyalty
- Monitoring Instagram "likes" on other people's photos
- Checking tagged photos at unexpected locations
- Some individuals even pay amateur online sleuths for full audits of their partner's digital footprint
Interpersonal surveillance has also become a staple of family life. Many young people today will transition from childhood to young adulthood without experiencing the normal expansions in privacy that traditionally accompany these life stages. Parents now regularly track their children's locations, read their messages, and monitor their social media accounts well into young adulthood.
The Public Sphere: From Neighborhoods to Viral Shaming
Step outside the home into neighborhoods and communities, and the surveillance culture continues. Commit a public faux pas—or worse, suffer some humiliation or health crisis—and you may find your name and face blasted to millions of viewers on TikTok. Talking to another adult on an airplane while wearing a wedding ring, dancing at a party, or complaining to a restaurant employee: these ordinary actions could earn someone a turn as the internet's villain of the day, with onlookers rushing to contact employers and flood families with hate messages.
The Consequences of Constant Monitoring
Rather than building trust with friends, partners, and children over time, we're short-circuiting the process and relying on technology to close relationship gaps. At best, our connections become shallower. At worst, the desire for constant visibility turns into control and abuse. Organizations advocating for domestic violence victims have repeatedly called on tech companies to rethink tracking features like Apple's AirTags that make it easy for abusers to spy on their victims.
Attorneys note that many cases of sextortion and non-consensual sharing of intimate images begin when young people feel pressured to share online logins with controlling partners. The normalization of surveillance in relationships creates environments where such violations become more likely.
Corporate Surveillance and Public Response
Despite growing numbness to surveillance culture, occasional moments still spark public outcry. When Ring, an Amazon-owned smart doorbell company, ran a Super Bowl ad last month announcing it uses AI to scan front gardens for lost dogs, the backlash was immediate. Soon after, Ring announced it was canceling its partnership with surveillance tech firm Flock Safety to build a system linking neighborhood cameras and sharing footage with police.
However, such pushback remains an anomaly. More often, invasive new technology meets with apathy or resignation. In a recently leaked internal document revealing Meta's plans to add facial recognition to its popular Ray-Ban smart glasses, the company suggested that the chaotic political environment in the US could provide a good distraction, as critics would be too overwhelmed by other stories to push back effectively.
Reclaiming Digital Sovereignty
Political turmoil may distract from privacy concerns, as Meta hopes, but it could also push them into the spotlight. As government agencies from immigration authorities to healthcare systems deepen their relationships with surveillance tech companies, people might find a renewed appetite for resistance—both in public and private spheres.
We didn't ask for the digital panopticon we're living in, but we don't have to lend it our eyes and ears. When we decline to monitor and be monitored, we reclaim a slice of the sovereignty that tech companies have gradually appropriated. In time, we might rediscover the quiet, secret spaces where genuine love and trust can take root, free from the constant gaze of digital surveillance.
