While mainstream comedy has largely moved beyond all-male panel shows and overtly sexist humour, comedian Esther Manito believes misogyny still thrives in the industry when it comes to one particular subject: motherhood.
The Unspoken Bias Against Motherhood
In a recent Zoom interview, Manito shared her perspective that motherhood remains an 'acceptable base of misogyny' within comedy circles. 'The division of labour is unequal, the pressure is unequal, the judgment is unequal,' she explained, 'and motherhood is still a place where people quite comfortably go: "I don't want to hear about it. It doesn't titillate me." So women are silenced.'
This realisation came early in her career when she began performing stand-up at 33 with a baby and toddler in tow. Despite later appearing on ITV's Stand Up Sketch Show and Live At The Apollo, and becoming the first female comedian to perform at Dubai Opera House, she initially faced resistance to discussing her experiences as a mother.
'When I started I was the only one with small children,' she recalled, 'and I just noticed that there was almost a bit of a repulsion by critics, that was like, "Do we need to hear about motherhood?"'
Industry Resistance and Double Standards
Early in her career, a well-meaning agent questioned how her comedy would progress while she had two young children - a concern she believes would rarely be raised with male comedians. 'I think that was my first insight into how much it would be pitted against me that I had started comedy with two very young children,' she reflected.
Even today, a decade later, she encounters the attitude that new comedians should focus on 'fresh faced topics'. Manito counters this directly: 'Mums can be fun. We can talk about motherhood. It shouldn't just be that you can't cover a topic that's been done before. Why not?'
In her new show Slagbomb, which is currently touring the UK, Manito explores her current life circumstances, including her role as what's known as a 'sandwich carer'.
The Reality of Being a 'Sandwich Carer'
Manito describes herself as part of the 1.3 million Brits who simultaneously care for both children and elderly parents. According to Action For Carers, 68% of these sandwich carers are women, many of whom are also trying to maintain careers.
'The whole show is basically just a meltdown about how it's a very undignified period of life,' she says of Slagbomb. Despite the specific circumstances, she finds women consistently relate to her material. 'Even if somebody doesn't exactly relate to the same scenario, women always come up to me and go, "Oh, I didn't have that, but I had this."'
This sense of shared experience creates a temporary community during her performances. 'It makes it feel like just for that hour you've got a bit of community,' she adds.
The Limitations Placed on Female Comedians
Manito observes that while her experiences resonate with many women across the UK, the comedy industry doesn't find motherhood 'exciting' material. 'To be exciting, I think topics have got to be maybe in trend or in vogue,' she suggests. 'Motherhood is not of interest and it's not exciting, whereas, your ethnicity, that's exciting, that's what we want to hear about.'
She resists being reduced to any single aspect of her identity. 'I'm not just somebody who's half Arab, I'm not just somebody who is half English, I'm not just somebody who's a mother. I'm all those things and they all play huge parts in my life.'
This compartmentalisation extends to her performance style too. She notes that while male comedians enjoy a broader range of expression, women face more restrictions. 'Being very physical on stage is considered quite undignified,' she says of her exploration of clowning. 'Women still aren't really openly allowed to tap into that, whereas blokes sweaty and ugly and spitty and we kind of go, "Oh, this is really just part of their wonderful artistic temperament."'
Despite being told she lacks class, has terrible posture, and swears too much, Manito finds humour in the criticism. 'I just think that's so interesting that the criteria for a clown is class?' she muses. 'You never sit there and be like, "Oh, finally, a man who comes on stage and talks like James Bond. Finally, I can enjoy this comedian."'
