A Haunting Last Fight: Palestinian Father's Dying Days Amid Gaza Siege
In a deeply personal narrative, the author reflects on a final, painful argument with her Palestinian father during the May 2021 siege of Gaza, a conflict that resulted in the destruction of 40 schools and four hospitals. This emotional clash occurred on the eve of his first chemotherapy treatment for stage four prostate cancer, as they lived together in a rented ranch house in Arizona, a place he cherished for its dramatic desert landscapes after fleeing bankruptcy in New York.
The Weight of Exile and Identity
The father, Sami Abdul-Fattah Al-Assadi, who often used the pseudonym Frank Leone to temporarily escape his Palestinian identity, was a man forever marked by the Nakba of 1948. At just five years old, he left his ancestral home in Safad on foot, never to return. His life was defined by this loss, and he consumed news from the Middle East relentlessly, a habit that enraged and consumed him. In contrast, the author, a new mother who had lost her job during the pandemic, struggled with feelings of being unmoored and exiled from her beloved New York City.
On that fateful night, as they discussed Gaza, the author made a casual remark about people finally believing Palestinian lives matter, referencing the George Floyd protests. Her father's reaction was one of deep hurt, interpreting it as a dismissal of their shared heritage. He accused her of forgetting she was Palestinian too, a comment that spiraled into a heated argument where he disowned her, and she, in turn, abandoned him, fleeing back to New York with her partner and daughter.
Regret and Realization
Only later did the author come to understand her father's perspective. She realized that his pain stemmed from a lifetime of witnessing the world's indifference to Palestinian suffering. "People didn't believe Palestinian lives mattered then. And people still don't believe Palestinian lives matter now," she writes, questioning why debates over the word genocide often overshadow the acknowledgment of actual violence against Palestinians, including thousands of children.
The fight became a haunting memory, eclipsing other regrets in their relationship. Despite reconciling weeks later and never arguing again until his death, the author is tormented by her actions. She reflects on how, in her desire to return home to New York, she acted like a "real American"—a identity her father had encouraged by quitting Arabic when she was a child—only to learn that nothing stays buried, especially the wounds of exile and loss.
This story, drawn from the author's novel Paradiso 17, serves as a poignant exploration of family, identity, and the enduring impact of political conflicts on personal lives. It underscores the complex emotions faced by Palestinian Americans navigating dual loyalties and the ongoing struggle for recognition in a world often quick to forget.
