During a six-hour delivery shift with no public toilets in sight, a trans delivery driver revealed their gender identity to their trainer after being directed to urinate in an alleyway. The driver, who uses they/them pronouns, explained they could not use the spot because they do not have a penis. The trainer responded by saying, 'No. I shouldn't assume. We’re all different, and that’s beautiful,' before driving off to find a suitable bathroom.
Workplace fears and relief
The driver, who works as a Director for Simply Equality, a social enterprise focused on inclusion, had chosen not to disclose their trans identity at the delivery job out of fear. They worried about being trapped in a van with a stranger who could harm them. However, the trainer's reaction was a relief. 'Against all odds, with this near stranger I felt safe, seen, and supported,' the driver wrote.
Past struggles with toilets
Toilets have been a lifelong challenge. As a child, the driver was yelled at for using the 'wrong' toilet, and as an adult, they faced hostility in women's restrooms despite having long hair and breasts. A cleaner once screamed at them, saying a man should not be in the women's toilets. The driver came out as trans in 2016 to friends but waited longer to tell their family in Malaysia, fearing rejection due to their Catholic faith. However, their aunt told them, 'Anyone who hates you for being trans isn’t really a Christian – God doesn’t make mistakes.'
Positive experiences with colleagues
After training, another colleague asked about the driver's life story. When they revealed they were trans, the colleague said, 'Anyone does anything like that to you here, you tell me and I’ll sort them. We don’t do that to each other – I don’t care who you are, we’re a team.' The driver concluded that despite negative narratives, 'the vast majority of people don’t actually hate trans people. Most people, if given a chance, just want to know if we can do our jobs and whether or not we’re a decent person.'
