A New Chapter After 60: From 75 First Dates to Kama Sutra Poetry
At 66 years old, Zack Rogow found himself single after the end of a long-term relationship. Instead of retreating into solitude, he embraced online dating with a mix of grief and excitement, ultimately going on 75 first dates over 18 months. This journey not only transformed his personal life but also inspired his latest poetry collection, The Kama Sutra for Senior Citizens, which delves into themes of love, intimacy, and aging.
The Dating Marathon Begins
Rogow's first foray into dating after decades was marked by a whirlwind of experiences. Dates ranged from outdoor walks to evenings in wine bars, cafes, and movie theaters. To keep track, he meticulously noted details about each woman's career and family, a practice that soon felt like a second job. "I knew I didn't want to live alone," Rogow explains. "I'm a person who has a melancholy streak, and it's accentuated when I'm by myself. I enjoy the repartee and warmth of a daily relationship."
His background shaped this pursuit of connection. Growing up in New York City, Rogow lost his father at age three and his mother to suicide when he was 19. Raised in a home that valued creativity above all, he followed in his father's footsteps as a writer, working part-time for a law firm while also being a poet, memoirist, and translator.
Navigating Modern Dating Etiquette
Rogow quickly realized that dating etiquette had evolved since his last experience decades prior. His first date ended with a surprising critique: his companion handed him a scorecard, pointing out that criticizing his ex made him seem like someone with poor judgment. This rejection stung, but it was a learning moment. "It's a rollercoaster when you're dating. Your hopes are very high and they can be dashed very quickly," he reflects.
Two dates turned into brief affairs, with the second ending over a seemingly trivial question about his attire. "Do you ever wear jeans?" she asked, highlighting his outdated style. This prompted Rogow to question his appeal and make changes, like buying jeans, as he wondered, "Am I going to be cool enough for anybody I really want to be with?"
Finding Love and Inspiration
The turning point came around his 73rd first date, when Rogow attended a book launch for his translation of a novel. There, he met a woman through a mutual friend, and their shared love of literature sparked a connection. Since 2019, they have been together, bonding over travel, physical activity, and family—Rogow has three children, and his partner has two, with both recently becoming grandparents.
This safe, secure relationship provided the foundation for The Kama Sutra for Senior Citizens. Rogow chose the title to challenge taboos around senior sexuality. "Some people might flinch at the idea of seniors having sex," he says. "But I wanted to explore how it's different, pleasurable, and a positive part of life. The title poem is really about intimacy and release, feeling pleasure in whatever way makes sense as we age."
Looking Ahead with Hope
Today, Rogow focuses on health and wellbeing with his partner, aiming to deepen family ties and continue enjoying shared passions. His poetry collection, available from Valley Press, serves as a testament to resilience and new beginnings after 60. It invites readers to reflect on their own journeys and the possibilities that come with aging.
