Keneally Family's Biblical Wisdom: Turning Barbs into Peace
Meg Keneally and her father, the acclaimed author Thomas Keneally, stand together in an ocean pool, a serene image that belies the profound family philosophy they share. Their approach to dealing with barbs and those who throw them is steeped in a unique 'home truth' passed down through generations, drawing from ancient biblical wisdom.
A Father's Unconventional Advice
As a dramatic teenager in the 1980s, Meg would often return home from high school, burdened by taunts about her weight, developing body, or a disastrous home perm. While her mother called for divine retribution, Thomas offered a different perspective. "Be nice to them," he advised. "Give your tormentors so much sweetness that they develop diabetes." To a self-absorbed teen, this sounded like nonsense, but Thomas explained it as a way to wrongfoot bullies, leaving them confused and disarmed.
The Power of Kindness as a Pathway
Meg decided to try it, and to her surprise, it worked. Initially, she relished the perplexed reactions, but over time, she realised it was more than a mere tactic. Being exceedingly nice to those who tormented her became a genuine pathway to peace. She shed the habit of keeping an emotional ledger, where every perceived wrong had to be addressed. By giving grace, she stopped the corrosive angst of needing to balance scores, though she admits she doesn't always get it right and acknowledges times when forgiveness isn't possible.
Biblical Roots in Proverbs
Thomas Keneally reflects on the origins of this advice in the Bible, specifically in the Book of Proverbs attributed to King Solomon. The verse states: "if thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink. For you shall heap coals of fire upon his head ..." This isn't about literal punishment but a benign revenge that raises tormenting questions in the enemy, such as whether their attack was even noticed or deemed worthy of a grievance.
He recalls his Aunt Annie using this phrase to soothe long-held family grievances, like his father's decades-old insult from a bush post office in the 1920s. Annie would say in a fluting voice, "Tommy, don't forget that if you make peace, you heap coals of fire on your enemy's head." This image, though reminiscent of harsh historical punishments like pitch-capping in Ireland, was meant metaphorically to encourage peace through unexpected kindness.
Legacy of a Home Truth
For the Keneallys, this wisdom has become a cherished family legacy. Thomas framed it in a way that resonated with a teenager, ensuring it stuck, but both he and Meg now understand its deeper value. It's not just about driving tormentors crazy; it's about finding personal peace and moving beyond the need for retaliation. This home truth, rooted in ancient texts, continues to guide them through life's stinging barbs and deep pains.
