How Threesomes Transformed a 30-Year Marriage: A Couple's Journey
For Bea and Eric, a couple inseparable and monogamous for three decades, their relationship took an unexpected turn when perimenopause sparked a resurgence of desire and curiosity. This shift led them to explore ethical non-monogamy, ultimately transforming their connection both in and out of the bedroom.
A Surge of Desire and Curiosity
Bea, now 48, explains that since her first pregnancy in her late 20s, her libido had been significantly lower than Eric's. However, as she entered perimenopause, she experienced a powerful surge of desire, reigniting discussions about fantasies with her husband. Both found themselves turned on by the idea of a threesome with another man, prompting them to cautiously dip their toes into this new world.
"We started by going to an adult social club a couple of years ago, but we were too nervous to even speak to anyone," Bea recalls. "Still, it opened a door in our minds, and our sex life became more intense as a result."
Navigating New Territory with Drake
After downloading Feeld, a dating app for open-minded people, Bea and Eric arranged their first threesome last summer. They went on dates with various prospects, eventually connecting with Drake, a 40-year-old single man who had experience as a third in previous couples. The chemistry was immediate and electric, especially when Bea kissed Drake in front of Eric during a bar meet-up.
Bea describes the experience as empowering: "When making out progressed to sex, I felt empowered in a way I never have before. Afterwards, Eric and I were euphoric."
However, Eric initially struggled with jealousy in the days following their first encounter, particularly feeling that Bea had been monopolised by Drake. Despite this, he has been insistent on working through these emotions, and the couple has since seen Drake over a dozen more times.
Transformative Effects and Ongoing Challenges
For Bea, the experience has been profoundly transformative, boosting her confidence both in and out of bed. "We're running out of new things to try as a trio," she notes, "so I've started to see Drake alone, too. I relay every detail to Eric, which is a real turn on for him, but can also be hard for him to process emotionally."
Eric, also 48, shares his perspective, highlighting how Bea's resurgence of desire revitalised their sex life, reverting them to having sex most days of the week, akin to when they first met. He emphasises that communication, which wasn't historically their strongest suit, has improved dramatically through this journey.
Eric reflects on the emotional complexities: "Having a third person in our relationship has naturally been hard on my self-esteem at times. I've reached the conclusion that I'm monogamous. Given the option, I'd have sex with Bea, hands down."
Despite these challenges, Eric finds value in the experience, stating, "If I can make the person I love most in the world feel good, and experience pleasure vicariously in the process, why would I stand in the way of that?"
Lessons in Connection and Communication
Both Bea and Eric acknowledge that they are still navigating how to balance their marriage with their new dynamic. They credit their strengthened connection and open discussions for making this exploration possible, even as they face ongoing emotional hurdles.
"The truth is, we're still trying to figure out how to navigate everything as husband and wife," Bea admits. "But when you're as connected as we've become, anything's possible."
This candid account sheds light on how couples can reinvent their relationships later in life, embracing change while prioritising communication and mutual respect.
