Learning to Swim in My Thirties: A Journey of Overcoming Barriers
Published February 8, 2026
'I'm not scared,' I kept repeating to myself, as I mustered the courage to release my grip from the pool's edge. The swimming instructor was occupied with another student, and feeling too embarrassed to request one-on-one help, I simply clung on, waiting for the lesson to conclude. He didn't assist me once. You might think this describes a childhood memory, but I was actually in my early thirties, having just decided to learn how to swim.
It Was Never About Fear
For years, it wasn't fear that prevented me from acquiring essential skills like swimming, cycling, or driving; it was a profound lack of opportunity. Now, I'm determined to make up for lost time. I arrived in the UK from the Netherlands at age ten. Initially, my family and I were homeless, moving between temporary accommodations. This constant upheaval meant I was always packing, always the new girl at school, and never settled long enough to establish roots or engage in typical childhood activities.
Financial constraints compounded the issue. My family couldn't afford extracurricular activities. School swimming lessons often involved me wearing oversized inflatable armbands, watching from the sidelines. As for cycling, my mother didn't know how to ride a bike and couldn't teach me, while she focused on ensuring we had food on the table. At sixteen, driving lessons were unaffordable, and we didn't own a car.
The Impact of Missed Milestones
By university graduation and entering the workforce, there never seemed a right time or place to get my license. I've managed with public transport, living in properties without parking spots. Over time, I used humour as a shield to mask what I perceived as significant shortcomings. However, this affected me deeply as an adult.
I recall visiting Copacabana Beach in Rio de Janeiro, feeling fortunate yet saddened because I couldn't join others swimming in the water. I always knew I'd learn one day, envisioning it as a milestone when everything was 'in order.'
A Turning Point at Thirty-One
Last year, at thirty-one, a comment from an acquaintance during a discussion on milestones struck a chord: 'You must learn how to swim because it is an important life skill.' While well-intentioned, it felt like an attack. I didn't choose to lack these skills. So, I decided to act.
With more time and priorities centred on personal and professional development, I booked driving lessons, swimming lessons, and researched 'first bikes for adults.' The initial swimming lesson was daunting, but subsequent sessions grew easier. Though no Olympic swimmer yet, I'm excited for my first beach holiday to showcase my new abilities.
Progress and Ongoing Challenges
I'm gaining confidence in the water and have my driving theory test approaching. My immediate goal is to swim in the deep end, perhaps even attempt a triathlon. Learning to cycle has proven trickier. Recently, I hesitantly tried my best friend's bike for the first time, giggling at feeling ridiculous. As a Dutch person, I assumed cycling would be innate, but it remains a skill I'm mastering.
Reflections on Accessibility and Timing
Reflecting on this journey, I've pondered how missing skills at the 'right' age can feel like missing the boat. Many people lose out on vital experiences due to accessibility gaps. The UK needs better programmes to teach swimming and cycling early. In parts of America, driving lessons are offered in schools, though availability varies by state and district.
My advice: stop waiting for a perfect moment when everything aligns. Don't let others dictate your capabilities. It's never too late to learn a new life skill. If you have a story to share, consider reaching out.
