A woman who spent over a year recovering from a breakup is now facing a new dilemma: her current boyfriend wants to include his ex-girlfriend in their relationship, forming a throuple. The reader, who met her partner in January 2026 after a painful split in December 2024, thought she had found happiness again. But in June, her boyfriend revealed he still has strong feelings for his ex and proposed a three-way relationship.
The relationship timeline and the bombshell
After ending a five-year relationship just before Christmas 2024, the reader spent most of 2025 feeling lost and lonely. Her luck seemed to change when she met a “gorgeous guy” at a party in January 2026. He told her he had also recently split from his long-term girlfriend, and she believed he was free. From February to May, they had a “fantastic relationship,” speaking several times a day and seeing each other three or four times a week.
Then, at the beginning of June, he dropped a bombshell. He asked how she felt about bringing his ex into the relationship. He said he had had a drink with her and realized he still had strong feelings. He claimed he couldn’t choose between them and that she would love his ex as much as him if she agreed to meet her. “I was so stunned and upset, I could hardly take his words in,” the reader wrote.
The throuple proposal
Her boyfriend is now seriously suggesting a throuple arrangement where all three are in a relationship together. He argues they would all get along, there would be more love in the relationship, more sexual diversity, and even easier childcare if they have children. He believes this is a long-term solution to his dilemma.
The reader agreed to speak to the ex-girlfriend on the phone and admitted she “sounds lovely.” The ex stressed that it wouldn’t be an open relationship—just the three of them. However, the reader’s friends think she is “mad to even consider it.” The alternative is to end things with him, which she says she “couldn’t bear.”
Laura Collins’ advice
Laura Collins, a counsellor and columnist, advises that while a throuple can work for some, it’s not for everyone. “It’s almost inevitable that there will be an uneven show of attention and love, and the resulting jealousy might make you feel wretched,” she writes. Collins points out that the boyfriend is making the idea sound wonderful because it would give him everything he wants without giving up either girlfriend.
Collins suggests the reader is only considering this because she can’t bear to end the relationship. “He’s basically telling you he doesn’t want to stop seeing his ex, so you have to consider whether he really wants this three-way relationship, or just doesn’t have the heart to finish with you,” she says. There is also the possibility he is bringing it up in hopes she will walk away.
Collins sides with the reader’s friends: “Don’t be bounced into something just to please your boyfriend. There are other men out there who won’t want to share you, which sounds more like the kind of relationship you really want and deserve.”
