Alex, a 28-year-old data analyst, has never had sex due to performance anxiety and erectile dysfunction. He is participating in Channel 4's Virgin Island to overcome his condition. 'Not being able to get an erection is constantly playing on my mind,' he says in the first episode. 'This is something old people deal with.'
Dr. Benjamin Davis, a psychosexual therapist, explains that erectile dysfunction (ED) in younger men is often psychological, while older men may experience physical causes. 'Behind performance anxiety, there's usually a feeling of shame,' he says. 'A lot of men with psychological erection problems have an internal critic that kicks in during sex.'
What Causes Performance Anxiety?
Performance anxiety often stems from shame, traumatic memories, or relationship issues. 'Seeing peers have sexual interactions amplifies the sense there's something wrong and fuels avoidance,' Dr. Davis notes. This anxiety triggers the fight-or-flight response, increasing adrenaline and cortisol, which diverts blood flow away from the penis. 'When you're running from a lion, you don't need an erection,' he adds.
Tips to Overcome Performance Anxiety
- Check hormone levels with a GP to rule out physical causes.
- Reflect on what truly turns you on, rather than mimicking porn.
- Ensure you feel safe with your partner.
- Focus on physical sensations instead of negative thoughts.
Other Causes of Erectile Dysfunction
Physical factors include coronary artery disease, atherosclerosis, diabetes, low testosterone, obesity, poor sleep, excessive alcohol, and smoking. These conditions impair blood flow or nerve function necessary for erections.
Dr. Davis advises seeking professional therapy, though he acknowledges it's difficult due to shame. 'It's definitely a problem with which men suffer in silence,' he says.
