For eight consecutive years, Elizabeth Doherty has chosen to spend her Christmas Day not at home, but within the walls of a hospice. Her journey from a grieving widow to a cornerstone of support for others began with a personal tragedy that unfolded over a single, devastating festive season.
From Sudden Loss to a Lifeline of Support
In Christmas 2016, Elizabeth's husband, Colin Doherty, a 74-year-old former army man, fell ill with what seemed like flu. Characteristically stoic, he tried to carry on, but by January he saw a doctor and was diagnosed with bronchitis. When antibiotics failed, further tests revealed an aggressive cancer. Within eight weeks of his diagnosis, Colin passed away, leaving Elizabeth bereft after 32 years of marriage.
In his final weeks, Colin was admitted to the Sue Ryder St John's Hospice in Moggerhanger, Bedfordshire, for pain management. Elizabeth stayed by his side for the eight days he was there, a period she describes as traumatic and overwhelming. "I really don't know what I would have done without them," she confesses, crediting the staff with providing the care and strength she lacked.
Transforming Grief into a Guiding Hand
After a quiet, reflective first Christmas alone, Elizabeth began fundraising for the hospice as a thank you. During a visit to drop off donations, she mentioned an interest in volunteering. By July 2017, she was working on reception, and now volunteers four days a week.
Her role is multifaceted: she greets families, answers phones, runs grief support sessions, and organises fundraisers. But her most profound impact often comes in those first, daunting moments when patients and loved ones arrive. "You've got to walk that path to understand what it's like," Elizabeth says. "For me it's just payback."
She uses her own experience to calm the vulnerable and frightened, sometimes coaxing reluctant patients from their cars with promises of tea and royal treatment. She also supports visitors riding the rollercoaster of grief, which can manifest as distress or anger. "We are there to get rid of all the anxiety," she explains.
Creating Light in the Darkest Times
Elizabeth and the team work tirelessly to create moments of joy and normality, especially at Christmas. They decorate the 10-room hospice, wear festive hats, and play music. "We don't want them sitting and thinking that this is their last Christmas together," she says. "You have to make memories."
This has included organising last-minute weddings, facilitating pet visits, and welcoming therapy ponies in little booties. She recalls one elderly gentleman who decorated his wife's room with a small tree. Now, he returns every Christmas to visit Elizabeth and leave a message on the hospice's memory tree.
A Personal Journey of Healing
Volunteering has been Elizabeth's own path through grief. It has given her a second family, including the nurse who cared for Colin, and a powerful sense of purpose. "Helping other people has helped me in my own grief," she states. "And if I didn't volunteer, I don't know where I would be today."
This Christmas, after her shifts on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, she will visit her son in Wales. On Christmas night, she will go home, light a candle, and raise a glass to Colin. "I sit there and I talk to him all the time," she shares. "He's just gone into another room. That's how I look at it."
Through the Sue Ryder charity's free online Grief Guide and bereavement community, and through the dedicated work of volunteers like Elizabeth, vital support continues to reach those navigating loss, ensuring no one has to walk that path entirely alone.
