Oscar Sharples is certain that gender-affirming top surgery saved his life. His story highlights the profound impact of timely medical care for transgender individuals and the devastating consequences of lengthy NHS waiting lists.
A Desperate Moment and a Glimmer of Hope
On May 14, 2017, a deeply depressed 16-year-old Oscar attempted to take his own life. He woke in a hospital bed, surrounded by the sounds of machines and shrouded by a curtain. The first emotion he felt was anger at having survived. Then, he noticed his hospital bracelet. Someone had crossed out his old name and written 'Oscar'. That small, validating act of kindness made him cry.
Oscar had been out as transgender for two years, supported unrelentingly by his mother. However, he faced relentless bullying, the loss of most friends and family, and even death threats. People spat at him in school hallways, sent messages telling him to kill himself, and on one occasion, a group of boys tried to kick his front door in.
Yet, it wasn't this harassment that led to his hospitalisation. The breaking point was the crushing realisation that he faced several more years of waiting for life-altering top surgery. He felt he could not go on.
The Long Road to Self-Recognition
Before puberty, Oscar lived happily, though others questioned his choice of boys' clothes and short hair. His mum prioritised his happiness. Everything changed when he turned eleven. As his body developed curves, he felt a severe detachment from himself. He forced himself to conform, attempting makeup and following hair tutorials, which led to a pervasive numbness.
This dissociation escalated into a self-harm addiction by age 12. For two years, his days revolved around this cycle. His escape began when he discovered online stories from trans people, primarily in the US. Their experiences mirrored his own and showed him a path forward.
With his mum's support, he formulated a plan: see a GP, get referred to a gender clinic, undergo assessments, and wait until he was 18 for surgery. He was initially told the wait would be four years. To cope, he endured daily rituals: showering in the dark, changing with eyes closed, and contorting into a painfully small chest binder that bruised his ribs.
A Cruel Wait and a Life-Saving Outcome
Due to NHS bureaucracy and the Covid-19 pandemic, the four-year wait stretched into six. Oscar fought the urge to give up daily. Finally, in April 2021, he received top surgery. He describes it as the best day of his life.
"I could lay back and put my hand on my chest without flinching," he recalls. "I could feel the wind on my back, take a deep breath without pain, and swim in the sea." The wait was over. That October, he moved to university, finally well enough to live independently.
In 2023, he co-founded Transilience, North Devon's trans support organisation, with his mother. He had begun the life that was nearly lost. However, he stresses that 42,000 trans people in the UK are still waiting for care, with some facing an eight-year wait just for an initial specialist appointment. In contrast, in 2015, his referral wait was eight months.
A Call for Change: Healthcare as Suicide Prevention
Oscar has watched trans rights be "meticulously stripped away" over the past decade. He states unequivocally that every delay in accessing healthcare costs lives, citing the tragic death of Alice Litman and others.
"Gender affirming care is suicide prevention. It saves lives," he asserts. He has chosen to devote his life to supporting those who do not yet have the chance to live freely, arguing that the trans community, which offers profound mutual support, deserves to have their lives saved too.
