Ben Lennard, a man in his mid-20s from the UK, has spoken candidly about a hidden battle that consumed years of his life: a severe addiction to pornography. What started as childhood curiosity spiralled into a compulsive habit that eroded his self-esteem, strained his relationships, and left him grappling with intense guilt.
From Humorous Banter to a Hidden Struggle
Outwardly, Lennard maintained a facade of humour, engaging in the kind of casual banter about porn common among his peers. He now recognises this was a deflection tactic, a way to mask a problem that was privately destroying him. "I'd try to hide it as best I could," he admitted. The addiction became all-consuming, with his mind constantly racing with intrusive thoughts. He describes watching pornography not just for sexual gratification, but compulsively, "like you would pull your phone out and watch videos on YouTube or TikTok."
The Devastating Impact on Mental Health and Relationships
The consequences were profound. Lennard says the addiction fed him unrealistic expectations, leading to damaging self-comparison. "It can very badly ruin your mental health," he states, emphasising how the performative, edited nature of porn warped his perception of reality and intimacy. Within relationships, he was plagued by a guilty conscience, questioning why he sought out other content instead of focusing on his partner. His story reflects a wider trend, with more than half of UK therapists reporting a rise in cases of out-of-control porn use among clients.
Understanding the Cause and Finding a Path to Recovery
A significant turning point came with a diagnosis of ADHD in 2024, which helped Lennard understand his brain's predisposition towards impulsive, pleasure-seeking behaviour. He has since gone "cold turkey," aided in part by the new Online Safety Act, which requires age verification on adult sites. The requirement to submit personal details acted as a deterrent. While he never imagined speaking publicly, Lennard now feels a "massive weight" has been lifted from his shoulders by sharing his experience.
