In the United Kingdom, the average age for first sexual experience is 18 for men and 17 for women. However, a notable trend is emerging, with approximately 5% of Brits reaching the age of 25 or older before they choose to lose their virginity.
Personal Goals and Practical Hurdles
For many young adults, other life ambitions take precedence over sexual debut. Psychotherapist Eloise Skinner explains that an individual might prioritise achieving specific personal aims, such as moving into their own home, before exploring intimacy. Sharing accommodation with family or housemates can create a practical barrier to bringing a partner back, making waiting a pragmatic choice. Other common priorities include reaching personal health or financial goals.
The Influence of Family and Upbringing
Comedian Jimmy Carr recently highlighted his own experience, revealing he lost his virginity at 26 and citing his close relationship with his mother and Christian upbringing as factors. Therapist Clare Patterson agrees that parental dynamics can play a significant role. She suggests some men may unconsciously seek a 'perfect', mother-like connection where needs are effortlessly met, which can hinder finding a real-world partner. Furthermore, if children are taught to view sex as shameful or frightening, it can lead to confusion and low self-worth in adulthood. Childhood trauma, including sexual abuse, profoundly impacts an individual's future relationship with sex.
Faith, Fear, and Digital Connections
Religious and cultural values continue to shape perspectives. As seen in Jimmy Carr's case, beliefs from Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Sikhism, and Hinduism often advocate waiting, potentially until marriage. Interestingly, a 2025 Bible Society report notes a 'quiet revival' in church attendance among Gen Z, with monthly attendance for 18-24 year olds jumping from 4% in 2018 to 16% today.
Another powerful deterrent is the fear of failure. Clare Patterson points out that the societal glamorisation of sex can create immense pressure, leading some to avoid it altogether rather than risk being perceived as 'less of a man'.
Finally, the modern dating landscape itself can be a factor. Psychotherapist Eloise Skinner notes that digital connections via apps can provide a sense of validation, making it easier to avoid the practical and emotional challenges of in-person intimacy. An individual may feel online interaction satisfies their need for connection, delaying the pursuit of physical relationships.
