When asked "How are you?", do you give a standard "Fine, thanks" or something with more character? A recent call for stories by the Guardian has unveiled a treasure trove of witty, poignant, and culturally rich responses from readers across the UK, revealing the depth behind one of the English language's most common pleasantries.
The Wisdom of Survivors and Nonagenarians
Many of the shared replies carry the weight of long life and experience. One reader fondly recalled her late father-in-law, a 104-year-old veteran of the Dunkirk evacuation and the North Africa campaign. His steadfast response to the question was always the enigmatic: "Surviving. That's the name of the game." This phrase has now been adopted by his family as a tribute to his remarkable fortitude.
Another correspondent, now in his ninth decade, has taken to replying with the dry retort: "How long have you got?" Meanwhile, an 88-year-old from Hampshire states simply, "Still above ground," and a nonagenarian neighbour in Cheshire cheerfully declares herself "Good in parts!"
A Regional Lexicon of Wellbeing
The collection highlights how geography shapes our language of wellbeing. In Yorkshire, phrases like "Nobbut middling" or "Fair to miserable" are typical. One reader learned while living in the East Midlands that "Not so bad" meant you were fine, "Not so good" indicated you were quite poorly, and the grave "Pretty middling" suggested you "were unlikely to last the night."
Further north, a Cumbrian reader shared the concise northern greeting "Hellohowareyou?", delivered as one word. From Scotland via North Yorkshire comes the Aberdonian-inspired "I'm haudn thegither," often requiring translation to "I'm holding together" for those south of the border.
Humour as a Defence Mechanism
For many, a dash of humour is the preferred shield against genuine inquiry. One reader from Monmouthshire always replies, "No better." His friend Alan uses the alternative, "Bad as I am, better than you." Another recalled a Hungarian grandmother who would invariably respond with a suspicious "Vy you esk?"
The letters section also featured a nod to literary wit, with one reader quoting Oscar Wilde's definition of a bore as someone who, when asked how they are, proceeds to tell you. This collection proves that for many Brits, brevity and a clever turn of phrase remain the soul of polite interaction, transforming a simple greeting into a moment of connection, comedy, or cultural identity.
