A Father's Anguish: When Harassment Begins at Age 12
My daughter was just 12 years old when she first experienced public sexual harassment. She was on the bus home from school when a boy from her class began making rude gestures toward her. Elodie later told me he was egged on by his friends, who all laughed at the situation. I was horrified to hear about this incident – and unfortunately, it was only the beginning.
The Relentless Reality of Public Harassment
Now aged 16, Elodie reports that similar incidents occur regularly, approximately once a month. She worries about being harassed and humiliated almost every time she ventures out in public. As her father, hearing this is absolutely heartbreaking. That's why I'm incredibly relieved that the government has enacted legislation making sexual harassment in public a specific criminal offense.
However, my primary concern remains raising public awareness. Without widespread understanding and acknowledgment, harassment will continue to occur, and victims will still suffer the profound psychological impact. I hope these new laws can bring these critical issues to the forefront of public consciousness.
From Oblivious to Awakened
Before having a daughter, I must admit I was completely oblivious to this pervasive problem. While I always felt some comments men made toward girls and women were unacceptable, what I witness now truly terrifies me. The nastiness and abusive remarks are not mere "banter" – they're controlling, hurtful, and carry a real intention to cause harm.
So many men I've spoken with about Elodie's experiences – friends, family members, colleagues – are shocked when I explain what behaviors remain legally permissible in public spaces. They think about their own wives and daughters and cannot comprehend why sexually explicit comments or public propositions aren't specifically prohibited, especially when these same behaviors are banned in workplaces under the Equality Act.
The Alarming Statistics
What's even more devastating is that Elodie's experience is far from unique. Research from Plan International UK reveals that 75% of girls in the UK, some as young as 12, have experienced some form of public sexual harassment. For many girls, this harassment occurs daily, affecting their walks to school, their exercise routines, and where they feel safe spending time with friends. Some have even avoided school altogether due to these experiences.
A Parent's Constant Anxiety
I worry constantly about Elodie facing public sexual harassment. My deepest fear is that she might be at risk of assault or even abduction when walking alone. She shares my concern that a verbal comment could quickly escalate into something more dangerous.
When Elodie plans to go out, I engage in a mental battle with myself. Should I discuss safety precautions and bring this difficult subject to the table, or should I remain silent and hope nothing happens? Elodie is a remarkably level-headed young woman, and I trust her awareness of potential risks. I don't want to limit her life experiences by projecting my own fears onto her.
Yet, that doesn't stop me from watching both the clock and my phone anxiously whenever she's away from home. My anxiety peaks in the evenings – nights are particularly troubling because I fear she could be assaulted after dark. Winter months intensify these worries as everyone bundles up in coats, potentially becoming less aware of their surroundings.
Public Transport Fears
I experience significant anxiety when Elodie uses public transportation. The thought that anyone could sit beside her, touch her inappropriately, or prevent her from exiting at her stop fills me with dread. My wife and I wouldn't know until it was too late, and this scenario feels all too plausible.
We frequently pick Elodie up when she's been out and always ensure she doesn't walk home alone. We've also agreed to use a location-sharing app on her phone so we can check her whereabouts. However, this presents a difficult balancing act – she's a young woman who deserves freedom, and we don't want her to feel constantly monitored by her parents. We also recognize that excessive worrying isn't healthy for any of us.
Empowerment Through Legislation
Despite my fears, I strive to reassure my daughter. Until recently, no single piece of legislation specifically protected girls and women from public sexual harassment. Remarkably, Elodie played a role in advocating for this new law, and I couldn't be prouder of her dedication to creating meaningful change for girls nationwide. She feels empowered knowing her hard work and commitment to this issue are beginning to yield tangible results.
Creating a Safer Society
We must do everything possible to foster a society where such behavior is universally recognized as harmful and unacceptable. As parents, we have a crucial responsibility to educate both boys and girls that this conduct – far from being harmless or complimentary – is always wrong.
Men also need to model appropriate behavior for their sons and grandsons while calling out friends or colleagues who engage in sexual harassment. This awareness has fundamentally changed my own behavior when I'm out in public. I now often position myself in front of women while walking so they can see me clearly, rather than hearing footsteps behind them and potentially feeling threatened.
No one should feel uncomfortable going about their daily life. The long-term psychological impact on girls is severe, not to mention the physical threats they may encounter. All I want is for Elodie – and every girl in the UK – to feel safe. I don't believe that's too much to ask.
