For Alex Milne and their partner Rebecca, the festive season took on a profoundly new meaning when they began welcoming refugees into their Lewisham home. What started as a direct response to the asylum system's failings has blossomed into a life-enriching tradition, creating an unexpected extended family and reviving their own Christmas spirit.
From Spare Room to Sanctuary: The Journey Begins
The decision was sparked several years ago after reading a harrowing article about the treatment of asylum seekers. Disturbed by reports of refugees being funnelled into overcrowded temporary hotels and the lack of support for those newly granted status—who faced eviction with just seven days' notice—the couple felt compelled to act. "We had a spare room," Alex explains, "so we could help in a very practical way."
Their neighbour, a volunteer with the charity Refugees at Home, provided the connection. After meeting some hosted refugees and discussing the process, Alex and Rebecca signed up. The vetting was straightforward, and by early 2020, they welcomed their first guest, Rami*.
Rami's planned two-week stay extended to six months due to the Covid-19 lockdown. They bonded over shared interests like Ru Paul’s Drag Race and cooking, and Rebecca observed Ramadan with him. Rami now has refugee status, a passport, and works as a civil servant, with the couple celebrating each milestone alongside him.
A TikTok-Loving Guest Rekindles Christmas Joy
The most poignant festive transformation came last year with Lina*, a 21-year-old refugee from the Middle East. The couple, who usually travel over December, found themselves embracing full Christmas decor for the first time, guided by Lina's enthusiasm.
"She wasn't familiar with real Christmas trees," Alex recalls, "but she had very particular ideas on the tinsel and baubles." Lina's stay, initially meant to be brief in early December, was extended so she could celebrate with them. They introduced her to mince pies, she made festive TikToks with their pets, and they completed TV series together, sometimes with Arabic subtitles. Lina stayed for three months before moving into a shared house and starting college.
Building a Chosen Family and Living Their Values
As a same-sex couple, Alex and Rebecca are particularly sensitive to guests who have faced discrimination due to sexuality or gender identity. Many of their guests from Kuwait, Egypt, Libya, and Saudi Arabia have been part of the LGBT community.
"It gives us perspective," Alex notes, acknowledging their own luck in avoiding such stigma. Hosting has consistently been a positive experience, despite initial worries about busyness, their dog, or acceptance of their relationship. They now regularly have guests for dinner and hosted another refugee the Christmas after Lina.
The experience has created a growing, chosen family. Sharing the festive period with Lina, Rami, and others has become a cherished part of their lives, proving that direct action and an open door can forge powerful human connections and redefine the meaning of home.
*Names have been changed.
