Dating experts and apps are reporting a shift away from nonchalance toward a new concept: chalant dating. The term, an antonym of nonchalant, describes a willingness to openly express interest and affection without fear of appearing too eager. Hinge, a popular dating app, saw a 217% increase in searches for the word 'chalant' last year, according to Logan Ury, the company's director of relationship science.
What Is Chalant Dating?
Chalant dating is the opposite of playing it cool. Instead of hiding feelings or waiting days to call after a date, chalant daters are upfront about their emotions. Ury told the New York Times that it represents 'a positive shift towards people feeling comfortable wearing their passion on their sleeve a bit more and just going after something – and not trying to win that battle of who can care less.'
The term 'chalant' is a linguistic curiosity known as a 'lonely negative' – a word that commonly appears only in its negative form, like disgruntled or impeccable. But in the dating context, it has taken on a new life.
Celebrity Role Models: Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce
Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are held up as the embodiment of chalance. The pop superstar and the NFL tight end, who reportedly got married recently, are unafraid to show their affection publicly. Kelce has joined Swift on stage during her Eras Tour, while Swift is a regular presence at Kansas City Chiefs games, cheering enthusiastically. 'They're the embodiment of chalance,' said Matthew Hussey, a dating expert, though he cautioned that idealizing celebrity couples can lead to disappointment.
For everyday daters, chalance can feel like a big step. 'In a dating world where it feels like no one's winning, everyone overprotects,' Hussey added. But the advice from experts is clear: life is too short to play games. Be like Swift and Kelce – say yes to love and wear your heart on your sleeve.
