A 43-year-old bisexual PR executive, Marina, has revealed how she navigates an open relationship with her husband, James, after he lost interest in sex following the birth of their daughter. In a candid sex diary for Metro's 'How I Do It' series, she details a week of dating multiple men, including a 24-year-old banker and a BDSM enthusiast, while maintaining her primary partnership.
The Arrangement
Marina and James have been together for 14 years and have a three-year-old daughter. A year ago, Marina proposed a 'don't ask, don't tell' open relationship after feeling sexually unsatisfied. 'James was reluctant at first but came round once we agreed he wouldn't have to hear about my exploits,' she explains. 'Now, it makes him feel less guilty about not having sex with me, and we agree we get on much better as a result.'
Neither is seeking a serious secondary relationship. Marina casually dates about five men at any time, having sex roughly four times a week. 'I enjoy the thrill of multiple partners,' she admits, though she desires a more consistent play partner rather than purely casual encounters.
Thursday: Planning a Date
Marina works from home and chats with a 24-year-old banker from the female-led dating app Chypre. They share a pregnancy fetish and a mutual interest in dominant/submissive dynamics. 'I really enjoy the MILF/younger man vibe,' she says. 'Younger guys' sexual energy matches my libido.'
Friday: Mixed Emotions
She wakes early and considers texting Jamie, a man who gives her 'some of the best sex ever,' but he has been ignoring her messages. Despite feeling hurt, she resolves to stay busy and not jeopardise her core relationship with James.
Saturday: Backup Plan
Her original date cancels, but she meets a 15-year-younger man for BDSM sex. 'He pins me to the bed consensually while he penetrates me. It's ridiculously good,' she recounts. Later, she kisses a new friend, Sam, in front of his ex-girlfriend, and they arrange to meet the next day.
Sunday: New Connection
After a late night, Sam takes her for a quiet drink. They make out in the pub and plan sex when he returns from a work trip. Jamie finally texts, but she leaves him on read.
Monday: Reunion
An ex reappears and invites her to a hotel for 'reunion' sex. She climaxes intensely in their favourite position. 'I used to fake all my orgasms with him, but now I'm very comfortable,' she notes. She returns home for nursery pick-up and bedtime with her daughter.
Tuesday: Self-Care and Boundaries
Exhausted, she focuses on work and self-care. She sexts new suitors but rejects a man unwilling to pay for a hotel. She blocks the ex who sent snide texts. 'I have way more self-esteem than I did 10 years ago,' she declares.
Reflections
Marina feels more sexually confident than ever since becoming a mother. 'Becoming a mum has allowed me to fully embrace my body,' she says. She plans to tell her daughter about the open relationship when she's older, teaching her that monogamy is not the only option for happy long-term relationships.
