Over a casual lunch, Dan Glass was confronted with a question that laid bare the persistent myths surrounding HIV. A friend, eyes fixed on the table, nervously asked: 'Can I get HIV if we share this sandwich?'
A Lifetime of Confronting Ignorance
For Glass, diagnosed in his early 20s and now living with HIV for two decades, the moment was frustratingly familiar rather than shocking. Born in 1983, the year HIV was first recognised as a public health crisis, he grew up in a Britain shaped by Section 28 and terrifying public information campaigns. His own diagnosis was met with panic and a barrage of clinical terms like 'CD4 count' and 'viral load'.
His initial concerns were intensely personal: 'What does this mean for my sex life? Can I still do blow-jobs?' He recalls his doctor's gentle reply: 'There's a lot more to it than blow jobs, Dan.' The subsequent silence from the partner he informed was his first harsh lesson in stigma.
The Wake-Up Call and a Life Reclaimed
For years, Glass tried to ignore his status, even refusing medication due to fear of side-effects like night terrors and pigment loss. This denial culminated in a physical collapse; his viral load was sky-high, his CD4 count dangerously low. Technically, he had developed AIDS. This crisis became a catalyst. He started treatment, and with the support of friends, held a defiant 'pigment loss' party, painting their feet white and dancing loudly.
Fifteen years on, Glass's reality is transformed by modern science. He is undetectable, meaning he cannot transmit HIV to others (U=U). He has an HIV-negative child, a chosen family of activists, and has spoken at Pride with ACT UP London. Yet, outdated fears persist around him.
Beyond Sandwiches: The Spectrum of Stigma
The sandwich incident is not isolated. Glass has fielded questions about sharing toilets and was once bought a pint by someone who didn't know 'how long he had left'. He has been asked if he is 'clean' and whether a partner could 'catch another strain' of HIV. These exchanges highlight a critical gap: many remain unaware of PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) or PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis), powerful tools that prevent transmission.
However, there are also heartening moments of understanding. A circus performer casually accepted his status, and a current partner, informed and on PrEP, focused on mutual pleasure and comfort—a first in 16 years that lifted a hidden burden.
A Call for Compassion and Modern Education
Glass argues the weight of stigma belongs not to those living with HIV, but to a society that hasn't learned enough. His mission is clear: education must evolve. We need to teach about U=U and PrEP in schools, talk about HIV openly, and stop using dehumanising language like 'clean'.
Ultimately, he stresses the need to protect funding for HIV services and the NHS. 'If that crumbles,' he warns, 'HIV will never be a thing of the past.' His message to anyone sharing a meal with him is simple: the only thing you'll catch is a bit of his sparkle.
