For many, morning sex provides an energetic start, while others favour lengthy evening encounters. But does a scientifically optimal time for sexual activity exist, and do our preferences evolve as we get older? While personal choice always plays a role, research and hormonal science offer intriguing guidance tailored to different life stages.
Hormonal Peaks and Popular Preferences
One study indicates that partnered sex most frequently occurs late at night, with the early evening ranking as the second most popular slot. Gender also influences timing; research from Lovehoney suggests men often feel most aroused between 6am and 9am, whereas women report a greater likelihood of feeling turned on between 11pm and 2am. Ultimately, a complex interplay of hormones and daily routines dictates our individual sexual clocks.
Your 20s: The Dawn of Spontaneity
The average Briton may lose their virginity around age 17, but the 20s are frequently one of the most sexually charged decades. Mike Kocsis, a hormone health expert and founder of Balance My Hormones, explains that hormones are typically at their most 'robust' during this period, coinciding with peak fertility. "You have a higher libido, especially around ovulation, and you have more energy and emotional response to intimacy," he states.
Biologically primed, many in their 20s wake up 'raring to go', making the morning an ideal time. This era is also perfect for exploration. Sexologist April Maria from Hot Octopuss advises that the best time can simply be "whenever the mood strikes." However, she notes that hormonal contraception like the pill can suppress natural cycles and diminish testosterone, potentially lowering libido.
Your 30s and 40s: Scheduling and Sensuality
As responsibilities like careers or young children increase in your 30s, spontaneity often gives way to planning. The best time becomes whenever you have time, perhaps necessitating a shared calendar. Mike Kocsis warns that elevated stress can interfere with sex hormone production, increasing prolactin and decreasing dopamine.
Yet, this decade can foster a deeper, more emotionally satisfying sex life. "Sex can become less driven by hormonal spikes and more by trust, connection, and oxytocin-driven bonding," Mike explains. By your 40s, with older children or settled careers, spontaneity may return. Morning sex might see a revival, or weekends and lunch breaks become prime time.
Hormonally, women approaching menopause (typically between 45 and 55) may experience lower libido, vaginal dryness, and longer times to orgasm due to falling testosterone. This shift encourages greater sensitivity and communication, making intentional, pressure-free intimacy crucial.
Your 50s and Beyond: Intentional Intimacy
In your 50s, declining oestrogen and testosterone don't signal an end to sexuality but a change in focus. Oxytocin becomes paramount for intimacy. Sex becomes more about sensuality and connection, including non-sexual touch like cuddling. Timing-wise, mornings or midday are ideal when energy levels peak.
April Maria notes that listening to your body is essential, adding, "For some, exploring morning or midday sex, when energy is higher and the body is more rested, can feel more enjoyable and accessible." By your 60s, with reduced work and family stress, you may enter a "phase of sexuality that's richer and more intentional than ever," according to Mike Kocsis.
With more stable hormone levels, desire can become clearer. Physically, the body often responds better with more time and relaxation, making afternoons or early evenings apt for intimacy. "Slowing down is key," April advises, along with "leaning into new ways to explore pleasure outside the social norm."
