Kemi Badenoch's Leadership Under Fire After Disastrous PMQs Performance
Tory MPs are reportedly moving towards a leadership crisis, with many considering handing Kemi Badenoch her P45 after a particularly embarrassing Prime Minister's Questions session this week. The event has concentrated minds within the Conservative Party, where buyer's remorse has long passed, and some members are now navigating the five stages of grief over their leader's performance.
The Five Stages of Grief Among Tory MPs
Initially, there was denial. Despite evidence to the contrary, some believed Kemi was performing better than expected, even as opinion polls showed the Tories dropping from the high 20s to the mid-teens. They clung to the hope that her brilliance would eventually shine through, leading the party to success.
This denial gave way to anger as MPs realized Kemi might not be the savior they had hoped for, followed by bargaining—perhaps she could serve as an adequate stopgap until a better candidate emerged. Depression set in as they accepted their grim reality, and now, a few have reached acceptance, seeking to move on from her leadership without humiliation.
A Record-Low PMQs Performance
This week's PMQs may have been Kemi's worst ever, a low bar given her previous dreadful showings. She demonstrated not only a tin ear but also a lack of brightness, as she imagines herself an accomplished performer with all details at her fingertips. A clever person knows their limitations; Kemi believes she has none.
She began with a half-witted question about why the prime minister wanted to increase petrol prices, allowing Keir Starmer to highlight the absurdity of her war position. Starmer has aimed to de-escalate conflicts, using UK forces only defensively, while Kemi seems eager to engage in any war, recently criticizing Starmer for not allowing Donald Trump free rein.
Contradictions and Embarrassments
In a BBC interview, Kemi insisted she never said what everyone heard her say, claiming an audio malfunction when she expressed support for war. Starmer labeled this "the mother of all U-turns," a cheeky remark given his own history of policy reversals, though U-turning on war is arguably in a different category.
Kemi further embarrassed herself by trying to explain how the UK is both at war and not at war simultaneously, invoking Schrödinger's war. She defiantly stated, "I would have sent HMS Dragon to the Gulf a week ago," a plan that would have sent an unseaworthy vessel lacking proper munitions, essentially an act of futility mirroring her PMQs performance.
Broader Political Fallout
Later, cabinet minister Darren Jones addressed the release of the Peter Mandelson files, revealing Starmer's error in considering Mandelson for a US ambassador role due to Epstein links. Shadow minister Alex Burghart criticized a £75k severance payment, though Jones noted it was the minimum the government could manage, with Mandelson initially demanding over £550k.
As Tory MPs ponder their next move, Kemi's self-destructive tendencies have led some to joke about hiring her out to Tottenham Hotspur, a team known for managerial turmoil. Her name might live on in infamy, much like her political career if current trends continue.
