Jessica Lindsay faced a daunting phone call in late 2021. Despite speaking to her parents daily, she felt a knot of anxiety. She was about to share a life-changing piece of news: she had been formally diagnosed with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) two months prior, in September.
The Fear of a Skeptical Reaction
Jessica had a strong relationship with her mum and dad, knowing they were supportive. Yet, she delayed telling them because she anticipated their disbelief. In past conversations about neurodivergence, they had echoed media headlines suggesting it was an 'excuse' for life's ordinary challenges.
She hoped that making ADHD personal – their daughter's reality, not an abstract concept – would dissolve their preconceptions. However, when she finally mustered the courage, her fears materialised. Her parents responded by asking, 'Why do you want to put a label on yourself?' They pointed to her degree and job as proof she was 'fine.'
It was as if they had forgotten the school reports citing her disruptive behaviour, fidgeting, and chronic disorganisation. The years of lost keys, missed appointments, and impulsive spending – all traits highlighted in her psychiatric assessment – seemed irrelevant because she was employed. 'It was like they had a fog over their eyes,' she recalls.
Bridging the Generational Gap in Understanding
Stung, Jessica initially reacted with anger, interpreting their response as callous ignorance. She ended the call and avoided her mum's peace-offering memes for a week. But as emotions settled, she began to see other factors at play.
She sensed parental guilt for missing the signs during her childhood. Furthermore, her mother started recognising similar traits in herself, questioning if her own forgetfulness and impulsivity were 'normal' or symptomatic. Research indicates neurodivergence often runs in families, making this a plausible connection.
Generational perspective also played a huge role. Born as Gen Xers, her parents grew up in an era where ADHD was scarcely recognised – it was only officially acknowledged for children in England, Wales, and Northern Ireland in 2000. Their unspoken sentiment seemed to be: 'Back in our day, we soldiered on.'
With a 20-fold increase in UK diagnoses since 2000, it's easy for some to dismiss it as a modern trend. However, data from ADHD UK suggests the condition has been historically and significantly underdiagnosed, particularly in women, and awareness is only now catching up.
From Tension to Acceptance and Improved Life
The turning point came through continued conversation and visible change. Jessica's parents witnessed the profound improvement in her life post-diagnosis and treatment, which included the medication Elvanse.
She developed systems to manage her symptoms, reducing key losses from a monthly crisis to a single incident in four years. The inexplicable paralysis, overdue bills, and social anxiety began to recede. 'I no longer cry at my desk, gripped by inexplicable inaction,' she writes.
Over time, her parents moved towards acceptance, even developing a running joke about the shared habits in their family. What began as a painful confrontation evolved into a deeper mutual understanding.
Jessica's story coincides with ADHD Awareness Month in October 2025, which carries the theme 'The Many Faces of ADHD.' She emphasises that allyship from neurotypical people is invaluable, and understanding benefits everyone. Her journey underscores that while these conversations are tough, families can navigate them together.
